Deaf in a Musical World
by Rthomps
Summary: Beca and Chloe must deal with the after effects of their son getting meningitis.


Hey. This is just an idea that popped into my head. I own nothing. Please read and review. Thanks!

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" _Your Child is deaf,"_ those are words first time parents never imagine hearing. One might go as far to say that those four words culminate as some of the scariest words parents can here in regards to their children. Those words are right up there with finding out their child is blind but not quit as bad as being told their child is terminal.

Those words, " _your child is deaf,"_ are the exact words that have Beca Mitchell numbly stumbling back to her car behind her wife Chloe. Beca climbed into the drivers seat as Chloe buckles their 18-month old son's car seat into the backseat. She waited for Chloe to buckle her own seatbelt before backing out and heading home. The drive home was silent, aside from the happy gurgling sprouting from the backseat. Chloe stared out the window without seeing the scenery fly by. Beca focused on the road ahead of her driving cautiously protecting her family. The doctor's words floating around her head, consuming her thoughts, she new that there was a lot to discuss and decide in regards to their son's future. They had to decide the course of action that would best help their son succeed.

20 minutes later the couple sat in the car. Neither wanting to move. If they moved they would be forced to deal with the dilemma placed in front of them. Both women, however, preferred to live in denial at the moment. Beca and Chloe were broken out of their individual reverie by a high-pitched squealing. They turn around and smile at the excited boy. They turn back around and finally exit the car. Beca unlocks the door and holds it open for Chloe and their son.

The desire to avoid the giant purple elephant in the room was so string for the couple that they focused on playing with their son, fixing and eating lunch, and finally placing their son down for his nap. This afternoon was Beca's turn to endure the naptime "battle."

As she sat in the rocking chair lulling her son to sleep, her mind wondered into the biggest events of the past 2 years. She remembered when Chloe brought up the idea of children for the first time. She thought she would have freaked out more but she didn't. She realized that she wanted kids but. She remembered the conversation they had deciding who would carry the baby. She remembered the excited shrieks that emanated from their friends when the broke the news. And not 10 seconds late the looks of shock when their friends learned that Beca was the pregnant one, when everyone assumed it was Chloe. She remembered the long, yet not so long, nine months waiting for the baby to come and imagining what its future would hold. She always imagined that music would be a huge part of its life because of herself and Chloe. She remembered the pain and the elation she felt the day their son was born. She remembered the difficulty of finding (and agreeing) on a name suitable for him. Finally they agreed and Alexander James Mitchell-Beale, AJ for short.

Her happy reminiscent smile turned to one of sadness as she thought about the doctor's words from earlier today. When he was first born the OAE and ARB test results showed that his hearing was fine. He hit all of his milestones he would look around when someone spoke. He said mama all the time. Around 12 months, however, he got sick. Really, really sick. He had a fever of 102 degrees Fahrenheit. It was one of the scariest moments in their lives. They rushed him to the hospital where he was placed in the NICU. He was separated from the other babies there. The doctors ran their tests. Beca and Chloe hated how much AJ was pricked and prodded but if it helped him get better they could get over it. Finally the results of the tests came back and they learned that he had viral meningitis. For the next 8 days Chloe and Beca lived in the hospital as the virus made its way out of their son. After that it was rare to find either Chloe or Beca without AJ attached to their hip. Which lead to their current predicament 6 months later. The doctors didn't catch it right away and neither did Chloe or Beca. It wasn't until AJ had a checkup at the doctor that anyone suspected something was off with the small boy. A nurse noticed that AJ didn't react when a metal tray was knocked to the floor. She mentioned this to the doctor and one week later they had confirmation. AJ was deaf.

Beca looked up at a knock on the door to find Chloe staring at the mother and son. She was about to tell her to be quiet in fear of waking the toddler up but she remembered that it didn't matter anymore. Gently, Beca stood and placed AJ in his crib. She then turned and walked downstairs Chloe following behind her.

Beca fell onto the couch waiting for Chloe to join her. They had been sitting there for two minutes in complete silence avoiding the impending conversation for as long as possible. Neither women wanted to start the conversation that would cause reality to come crashing down on them.

Finally, Chloe spoke up. "It's been one hell of a day." She didn't know how to start the much-needed conversation.

"It has." Beca whispered. Maybe if she doesn't respond loud enough they can continue on in ignorance.

"Come on Becs… You haven't said a word since we left the doctors. We-"

"Neither have you" Beca interrupted.

Chloe closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath. Every single one of their friends, if asked, would say that Chloe is the emotionally hysterical one and Beca the calming force in their relationship. Yes, Chloe wore her emotions on her sleeve for the world to see, but in times of crises she would be the one you want by your side taking charge. She can deal with almost anything thrown at her. Beca is great at hiding her emotions unless it's a high stress situation. At those times she either screamed and yelled or shut down completely. Right now she was shutting down. "It's gonna be ok Beca. There are a lot of worse things that could have happened to him. He's deaf not dumb. He's still the same happy little boy that loves his mama."

"He's not though. He's never going to hear my voice again. He's never going to hear your voice again. He'll never hear us sing together, or his own voice. He won't be able to listen to any music. I couldn't wait to show him what I do in the studio. You were so excited to share all of those Bella's videos with him. So please tell me how this situation is possibly going to be fucking ok because I can't see it. He's never going to be normal. School is going to be difficult because of the language barrier. So seriously, please tell me how this is going to be ok." Beca ended in almost a shout, tears unwillingly spilling out of her eyes.

"God Beca, did you hear yourself just now? You make it sound like he got a death sentence or something. All you did was list the things he won't be able to do. Did you listen to a word the doctor said after he told us AJ is deaf? There are procedures he can preform that can help AJ hear and communicate. We just have to decide what we think is best for him." Cautiously Chloe took Beca's hand, "This is NOT the end of the world Becs. We may not have been expecting it and we definitely aren't ready for it but it's happening. The most important thing is that AJ is here and still incredibly happy. He's the same happy boy he was before he just can't hear now."

"That's the point Chlo. He can't hear us. I know that it's not the end of the world. But my world is music and I was _so excited_ to share that with him and now…now I-"

" _You_ will still be able to share that with him. Maybe not in the way you originally thought, but you can still share it with him. He can still listen to music. Not in the traditional way but through the vibrations. And with the cochlear implants he might be able to get some of his hearing back. But there are other options too. We could see about American Sign Language programs and maybe a school for the deaf or schools with good hearing impaired programs. One of my friends had a cousin that went to a residential school and she loved it, and now she's in law school. We just need to decide which path will help him the most."

They sat in silence for a while. Both trying to figure out how they got to this point. Trying to understand what was happening to their son.

Chloe understood where Beca was coming from. Music is what brought the two together. She worried about how her son would lean. She knows how important it is for a child to learn language as soon as they physically can. The doctor dumped this information on them and he only explained the side he thought was best. He pushed the idea of cochlear implants because he sees their son's newly acquired disability as something he needed to fix.

Beca was thankful for Chloe and her innate ability to calm Beca down. Chloe always helped Beca see the brighter side of every situation they came head to head with. The most confusing aspect for Beca is that she felt the same way as when he grandma died when she was a child.

In the doctor's office and throughout the car ride home she was in denial. She couldn't believe that this was happening. She couldn't accept that her son was deaf. She remembered having the same reaction when her mom told her that her grandma was dead.

After AJ was down for his nap and they sat in the family room she could feel the anger bubbling up inside of her. Her son was deaf. How was that possible? How could that happen? It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve to be deaf. All she wanted to do, since finding out they were going to have a child, was share her passion and career with her son. And because he got sick and lost his hearing she lost the chance to share that with him. Knowing this pissed her off. Deep down she knows Chloe is right. They can still share music with him but not in the way she imagined.

In her mind everything she had planned for her sons future, every thing she saw him doing before, she couldn't picture anymore. That hurt the most for Beca. Every hope she had for her son, she felt flew out the window the second the doctor said the word _deaf_. She knew that, rationally, she was being one hundred percent ridiculous. AJ still had a future, very possibly a brilliant future. She was simply scared of the difficulties he will have to face. She was already worried about the fact that he had two mothers. She wouldn't change anything for the world. She loved Chloe with everything she had. The fact remained, however, that societal norms preferred heterosexual relationships. And it certainly didn't change the fact that kids are judgmental assholes whom pick apart every aspect of their peers that is different from them. Now she had to worry about how he would be treated for his deafness.

She finally looked up from the floor and met Chloe's eyes again. Tears gathered in her eyes for the umpteenth time that day and she reached up to wipe them off. "You know the weirdest thing about this whole situation?" Chloe nodded her head. "I kinda feeling I'm grieving. Ya know? Like the five stages of grieve or whatever. At the doctor's I just kept denying it. And then we came down here and I get _so_ angry at the situation. Is that crazy?"

Chloe shook her head. "I feel the same way. I thought I was going crazy. I mean it's not like someone died or anything, but in way, I guess it feels like some _thing_ died. The future I imagined for him is gone and I don't know what to think anymore. So no, that's not crazy. And you're not crazy…at least not anymore crazy than before."

Both women truly laughed for the first time day. The laughter died down a comfortable silence filled the room again.

After a few minutes Beca spoke up answering Chloe's earlier question. "I think we should look into other options. A girl in my class she had the cochlear implants. All of the kids made fun of her because she talked funny. We had a few conversations and I asked her what they felt like, the implants, she said that it hurt to put them on and that she didn't actually hear she felt vibrations near the top of her head. I don't know if that is the best thing for him. I don't want him to be ostracized any more than he will be already. Unless you think otherwise of course."

"I honestly don't know what to think. But I want to find the answers and figure out what other people think before we decide anything. And Honestly I didn't appreciate how the doctor went straight to surgery without giving us any other information or possibilities."

"I guess we have some research to do." Right then the baby monitor emitted babbling sounds alerting both women that AJ was awake. "Just not right this second," Beca chuckled.

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Fun fact: About 90-95% of deaf children are born to hearing parents. Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful day!


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